misery loves company
by kyleisgod
Summary: Butters is having a terrible day until he gets cheered up by an unlikely friend.


Author's Note: This is quite possibly the worst combination name in the history of combination names. At the same time, it fits together well and is amusing in a juvenile sort of way. I hope you like this oneshot. I think the storyline makes the pairing make at least a little sense. I wrote this for

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

/

"Gosh darnit! Gosh darned son of a biscuit!"

A pouting Butters Stotch slammed his locker closed. With his head lowered and his shoulders slumped he reluctantly exited South Park Elementary. The fallen snow crunched under Butters' dragging feet as he walked toward home. Soon a second pair of shoes was following the blonde, stepping into the footprints that Butters left behind. Butters heard the second person approaching and momentarily considered running. It was likely a bully following him.

"Butters! Wait up!"

"Oh, hey Dog Poo."

Butters wasn't displeased to see Dog Poo. They weren't really friends, but better him then another bully. Besides, in Butters' current state of mind it was difficult to be happy about anything. Butters didn't smile when he greeted his classmate, but his frown curved upward enough to be civil. The dirty boy joined Butters at his side. The two walked together down the block. They moved slowly to avoid possible ice on the ground, giving them plenty of time to converse.

"You seem troubled." Dog Poo observed.

"Oh. Yeah. My stinkin' parents grounded me again."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Was it because of your pimping?"

"No. They were happy I had so many girlfriends. They said it made 'em less ashamed of me since I didn't look like such a faggot then."

"In that case, I'd like to buy a kiss from one of your girls."

"Oh. Well I'm awfully sorry to tell you this, but I'm out of the pimping game. I didn't feel right taking other people's money like that. You know what I'm saying?"

Dog Poo frowned. "Oh. I see. Just my luck I suppose."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's impossible for me to receive a kiss voluntarily. Now I'm even too late to pay for one."

"Shucks, I'm sorry. Well hey; at least your life's not as bad as mine. I don't know what the heck I did wrong to get grounded half the time. My parents are always grounding me or hollering at me for something or other."

"Did your parents name you Dog Poo?"

"Well, no but-"

"Then I think it's safe to assume your parents like you far more than mine like me."

Butters blinked. "Sometimes my dad hits me and-"

"I reiterate: Dog Poo. They named me _Dog Poo_, Butters. That name's going to haunt me until the day I marry or legally change my name. The latter of which is more likely since it's difficult to find a girlfriend with a name like Dog Poo. Let alone a friend."

The boys turned a corner. The Stotch residence appeared before them. Despite being home, despite a grounding and possible beating coming his way, Butters found himself smiling again. Fiddling with his fingers, he turned to face the other boy.

"Gosh, I guess your life _is_ crappier than mine, huh?"

"Indeed it is."

"Thanks Dog Poo. I actually…I actually feel a lot better now."

"I'm glad my horrible existence could make you feel good about your own. Well, I guess I'll see you in school."

"W-well, wait. Hold on a second."

"Yes?"

A blush enveloped Butters' complexion. Nervously but without hesitation he leaned inward, placing his lips against the side of Dog Poo's face. Butters could taste and even see the dirt coating the disheveled boy's cheek, but he didn't care. If that poor guy wanted a kiss, then that's what he was going to get. He cheered Butters up and the least Butters could do was return the favor. Shocked that he'd actually received a show of affection, in public no less, Dog Poo traced a finger over his cheek disbelievingly after the kiss had ended. Now it was his turn to smile. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for a guy named Dog Poo after all.

"I don't know what that was for, but, thank you."

"Thank _you_, Dog Poo."

The boys stood still a moment. Awkward silence had crept its way into their conversation. Butters decided to head inside before he got grounded for something else.

"Well, all right then. See you at school."

"Yeah. See you."

They waved to one another and parted ways. Each one made it a point to talk to the other more often from that day forward. Some days, all they had was each other.

Life was never quite as bad again.

The End


End file.
